Wednesday, August 19, 2009
if this is the after-effect of the surgery, then i guess i'm glad i extracted all four wisdom teeth at one go. puke/purge sessions getting more often and bloodier. le sigh. i feel so immune to the grossness of the situation because i'm banishing everything to the back of my mind.
i swear, if i died right now and an autopsy was done, they'd find my stomach full of blood. and that's no joke. the nurse encouraged me not to spit but swallow -something to do with preventing the stitches from pulling but i can't help it if it becomes necessary to favor the toilet than swallowing.
medicine isn't helping. my super painkiller has been limited to once a day. so is the swelling medicine. have about another five days worth of the three other medications but so far, don't know, don't see a difference in my condition. maybe i should be happy that it isn't worse?
i feel so mopey. this.. problem is so upsetting. i just want to talk to someone but not that i have the voice to do so. i hate it. i feel so alone when i can't talk, powerless to communicate. thank god for msn and sms huh michelle.
major tummy ache right now. can taste the blood. see, this is the very reason why i never had any interest in medicine. i hate blood, the smell, the taste, the sight of it disgusts me. i hate needles, being used on me or anyone else. i hate pain, physically, emotionally, whatever.
dear god, let me just curl up and pass out. please please please. oh yeah and not to drown on my blood-spit-whatever.
copperbloodfear.
i detest it.
i hate that you're ignoring me
at the time
that i need you most.
i want to see you.
but i'm loathe to do so,
because i don't mean anything to you.
i swear, if i died right now and an autopsy was done, they'd find my stomach full of blood. and that's no joke. the nurse encouraged me not to spit but swallow -something to do with preventing the stitches from pulling but i can't help it if it becomes necessary to favor the toilet than swallowing.
medicine isn't helping. my super painkiller has been limited to once a day. so is the swelling medicine. have about another five days worth of the three other medications but so far, don't know, don't see a difference in my condition. maybe i should be happy that it isn't worse?
i feel so mopey. this.. problem is so upsetting. i just want to talk to someone but not that i have the voice to do so. i hate it. i feel so alone when i can't talk, powerless to communicate. thank god for msn and sms huh michelle.
major tummy ache right now. can taste the blood. see, this is the very reason why i never had any interest in medicine. i hate blood, the smell, the taste, the sight of it disgusts me. i hate needles, being used on me or anyone else. i hate pain, physically, emotionally, whatever.
dear god, let me just curl up and pass out. please please please. oh yeah and not to drown on my blood-spit-whatever.
copperbloodfear.
i detest it.
i hate that you're ignoring me
at the time
that i need you most.
i want to see you.
but i'm loathe to do so,
because i don't mean anything to you.
what we could have been, 3:49 am.
